#14. Welcome to Weed Witching Season: It's Time To Balance The Scales
Plus: Martha Stewart is a pothead, DIY apple bongs + radical self-care
(Pictured: “Not 100 Percent Sober At The State of the Union” 2014, Laura Collins; Martha Stewart blissed out on CBD).
Vol. #14
Astromotional World Update: Autumnal Equinox
Social Issues: On Bodies and Choices
Self-care is a Radical Act
Martha Stewart is a Gigantic Pothead
DIY Heirloom Apple Pipes
Ways to Support The Weed Witch
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Dear coven,
Grab your heirloom apples and lighters: it's the autumnal equinox and the beginning of Libra season. Or, as I like to call it: Weed Witching Season. It’s like decorative gourd season, but where you carve a small hole and fill it with cannabis to make a natural smoking vessel like you’re 16-years-old all over again.
The Autumn Equinox is when the sun is exactly above the equator so that day and night are equal length: hence, the balancing of the scales. This time of year represents harvest, gratitude, and a long winter ahead. It's also 41 days until the election. Are you registered to vote?
Typically, this season reflects a need to create balance in life, find inner peace, think about where you've been indulging too much, meditate, share ideas, and plan ahead. Strike the balance between action and rest without falling into people pleasing habits.
If you've been escaping reality a little too hard, it's time bring back that ethical compass to remember your sense of justice and commitment to the world.
Apple pipes, cinnamon broom whisks, flannel, changing leaves, hibernation, and 41 days of hexes until election day. Here’s the link to vote. Use it generously.
The apples at the farmers market haven't been looking so hot this year. Buy some local produce and stop sliving so hard! It harms the environment! Over here smoking weed every day because I can’t even believe that you haven’t been this whole time.
Libra season is a cardinal sign signaling the beginning of fall. These are romantic signs ruled by Venus, the planet of love. They thrive with harmony, beauty, fairness, idealism and understanding when at their best, and prone to indecisive, unreliable, superficial or manipulative qualities at their worst. Librans are represented by the scales of balance and order.
Admittedly, it’s hard to be mad at gorgeous fall weather, and I’m enjoying the last vestiges of it before this long, agonizing winter ahead. I’ve basically been prancing around Manhattan like Belle in dystopian Beauty & The Beast because it’s a sunnier view of a city where half the streets look like bombed out trash factories covered with ACAB graffiti while people wait in sample sales. It’s a weird place still getting back on its feet, but then again, this was never a “normal” place. Striking the balance, so to speak.
This issue, like the others, has a bit of column A and a bit of column B. I’ve been thinking a lot about the perception of cannabis, which has had somewhat of a Madonna-whore complex, just like its predominant female smoking base.
It’s been a strange time watching all of this transition into the mainstream, as this week Martha Stewart unveiled a CBD line, Kendall Jenner revealed she’s a stoner, Ireland Basinger Baldwin is now the edibles brand ambassador for Kiva (which is unfair because that’s my dream job), Kristen Bell’s new CBD Lord Jones skincare line is coming out next week, noted pothead Paris Hilton has a new documentary about surviving trauma and being so wealthy and famous that she’s never fully understood reality.
Smoking a joint out my window, trying not to think about why cannabis is still a Schedule I felony, people are weirded out by weed, but it’s all over products at my local CVS. Five states are priming to vote on legalization this fall, and none of them are New York. Which is fine because we have the largest legacy in the country, but also: why…? Where’s the balance?
A lot of this comes down to choice, and this week, we were delivered a sucker punch as we are currently 41 days away from one of the most INTENSE ELECTIONS IN RECENT HISTORY.
Are you registered to vote? Do it now. Tell everyone.
Election day is Nov. 3
Registration deadlines
Online: Oct. 9
By mail: Postmarked by Oct. 9
In person: Oct. 9Absentee ballot deadlines
Request: Oct. 27
Return by mail: Postmarked by Nov. 3
Return in person: Nov. 3 by 9:00 p.m.Early voting
Oct. 24 - Nov. 1, but dates and hours may vary based on where you live
The big shocker from this past weekend is that feminist hero and Supreme Court Justice, the Honorable and Notorious Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. Ginsburg finally kicked it after I sent out the newsletter, followed by the first streaming synagogue at 7 p.m. on Shabbat/Rosh Hashanah. HOW DRAMATIC. (Separately, I love this astrological eulogy to RBG—she was also a Pisces Jewitch).
Seriously. If I'm going to applaud Ruth and David Bowie for anything, it's dying in the most perfectly dramatic circumstances possible. Did you see her dying wish?!
Via the New York Times:
“Days before her death on Friday, Justice Ginsburg, 87, dictated a statement to her granddaughter Clara Spera, saying, “my most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed,”according to NPR’s Nina Totenberg, who was close to the justice and her family.”
Burn! Literally her dying wish on her actual death bed was a croak to take this fucker down. Call heard, Ruth. Roger that.
To cope, I got one pound of ruggelach at Zabar's and heirloom apple to make festive seasonal pipe, which I have a DIY tutorial below.
Do yourself a favor and do not go to Trader Joe’s. Somehow in the last week, I ended up with salted chocolate covered graham crackers, sunflower dark chocolate buttercups, TJ’s imitation version of Tate’s chocolate chip cookies, and these pumpkin ice cream mini ice cream cones, the makings for Manhattans, and possibly a cavity from all this sliving. RBG’s death and Rosh Hashanah made me impulsively set up a grieving table before the most somber Yom Kippur on the planet.
If you need a laugh, please revisit my 2011 review in McSweeney’s in which I dubbed Trader Joe’s mildly spiced vegetarian microwave burritos to be the zeitgeist of the recession. I stand by that, as it is still relevant right now).
Social Issues: On Bodies and Choices
Choices are one hell of a thing. After making a lot of questionable choices, I decided to stop giving myself a hard time over my past mistakes and start operating with intention.
Among them: I don’t drink very often anymore. This is great because not only does this save me money, but I lost 40 pounds by sacrificing some of the calories. I still appreciate a nice glass of wine or a cocktail, but I’d much rather smoke a joint. Less calories! Meal planning, prep, exercise, and not living above a 4 a.m. bar anymore are all really positive changes I have made in my life to encourage balanced, healthy habits.
“Healthy” is such a relative term. We know exactly what constitutes a healthy and balanced life, but we feel judged when we keep clinging to these comforts that we recognize are not necessarily good for us. Where an indulgence can go too far and we accept ourselves as we are, or make changes to become the person we’d like to see.
Cannabis is often considered healthy and not healthy, which has become more complex with aggressive marketing when it comes to trustworthiness and the spread of transparent information. Some of you live in legal markets, others in medical, or getting whatever you can on the legacy market. Some believe that cannabis makes you lazy. A super sleepy indica might be helpful when you want to be knocked out, but an upbeat sativa can increase social activity and creativity—as well as anxiety.
I use cannabis for sex, to relax, to make art, to write, or to cuddle with pillows. I use it as a topical for joint pain, as a supplement for health, and writing about weed made it the first time I ever had to explain any of these choices because literally no one cared.
One of the apps I use religiously is Leafly because their database is the best for checking out strains, which also has detailed information about what each strain is good for. If you remove all the sex and glitter packaging, I care about assessing the product first: is this good and does it work? That is a really complicated question.
Choice, access, equity and quality are relative, as well as how these plants interact with everyones’ individual bodies. But we should all want choice and appreciate variety. The ability make decisions over ones body—be it pleasure or healing—everyone should care deeply about. Access, equity and education.
RBG’s death is symbolic for a lot of reasons, but her protection of choice and bodies is currently at risk.
RBG died after a very long battle with cancer. Four bouts of it: pancreatic, lung and colon. Woof. Can you imagine?
Obviously, it was never confirmed as to whether or not she used medical marijuana as part of her treatment (I'm inclined to believe she didn't), she was supportive on federal legal merits. Her legacy is more entrenched in women’s rights and gender equality, but she maintained a much-needed balance of justice on the Supreme Court, which is a lifetime appointment.
I can’t even imagine trying to raise that much money through a GoFundMe. The fact that is how so many people are having to make ends meet right now is appalling. I know so many people who found out they had cancer this year, and our healthcare system fails everyone—particularly low-income populations and marginalized communities.
In some ways, this has woken up a lot of people to become more proactive. I prefer to uplift people doing good things and focusing on that, but you can’t ignore the bad. You want to, but you shouldn’t. I hope that enough people are fed up that they’ll take it to the polls. I do know one thing: if Trump wins the election, this essentially ensures a conservative majority for years, putting the rights and freedoms in the hands of religious extremists. Immediately, the only thing that was on my mind was Roe vs. Wade.
Many people don’t think about what overturning Roe vs. Wade means, so let me put this into context for you: Two years ago, after a long battle between secular thought within the Catholic-dominant Republic of Ireland, a vote finally decided to repeal their archaic abortion laws in a historic win for women and bodies with female-sex reproductive organs. These laws were so restrictive that it impacted all women’s healthcare with so much horrifying abuse, including women who wanted to conceive, survivors of domestic violence, incest and rape, women with failed pregnancies forced to wait to miscarry, asylum seekers denied services, and more. Total shit show.
Even if you were intending on being pregnant, let’s say you broke your arm. Under these laws, you wouldn’t be able to get basic painkillers and would have to sit through crippling pain, adding undue stress on your future child that you actually planned for in the best case scenario. That’s how deep these laws ran.
“My body, my choice” eliminates a lot of choice when you allow the government to treat you like an empty vessel for reproductive purposes. There are so many horror stories it would give you chills to think this is how things casually operate. Even with overturning these laws, the fight continues. This only changed in the past two years. This is why they say, “Never going back.” The wire hangers. I can’t even speak these stories and am grateful to the women who survived who shared their trauma.
Cannabis is currently undergoing clinical trials to help with pain management for abortions. If you have ever gotten one, or know of someone who has, know that this is not an easy choice or a walk in the park. Simply getting an IUD to protect myself required having someone come with me to deal with the painful cramps. To deny that choice and autonomy over ones own body is infuriating that this needs to be argued time and again.
I called my grandma and mom, and we talked at length about what life was like back then—something I do regularly these days. I feel really blessed to come from a home where I was raised knowing that if I needed an abortion, my family would support me. My own mother had gone through one before me. When she was finally ready, she knew I was the one. I neither begrudge her for her previous decision nor her reason for following through on a pregnancy. We don’t have a perfect relationship because neither of us are perfect. That’s what makes us human.
Not every household has this, and that’s a privilege: being raised with values that support other women. It’s why I protect this choice at all costs. To consider where we are at history and what an amazing opportunity this is to understand that progress is a messy, but requires fighting to uphold values.
The right to have safe access to abortions, in addition to quality food that respects the earth, medicine, education, and human rights is the definition of holistic health and intersectional feminism because it is about freedom of choice. Cannabis is part of this as medicine, which makes up everyone’s lifestyle in whichever aesthetic they need to live with. Just because I don’t need certain medications or services doesn’t mean I don’t understand the importance that people should have access to them. Especially, when preventive birth control services are removed on religious grounds that would reduce the number anyway.
Further reading: Here are 27 celebrities who have had abortions to make you feel less alone.
In her honor and mine, I am getting my IUD checked up at Planned Parenthood and donating to the National Abortion Fund. The idea of having to do GoFundMe to pay for cancer treatment or fleeing the country for an emergency abortion makes me sick. This disproportionately impacts low-income and marginalized communities.
It’s unfortunate that “feminism as a brand” and that complex conversations drove so many women apart. I, for one, am currently looking forward to voting, organizing with likeminded proactive people, and then basking in tremendous amounts of alone time while snuggling with my pillows and blankets. It’s the balance of Libra season! Admittedly, I do have a lot of home redecorating needs right now and would appreciate a wedding registry for “freshening up” this new quarantine crib.
Looking forward to sharing more of my “at home” Weed Witch tips with you soon, with fingers crossed this election isn’t a total disaster.
Event: Self-Care Is a Radical Act!
Feeling run down? You’re not alone!
Actress Cynthia Erivo is leading a virtual slumber party tonight with DRK Beauty, which is a digital community for women of color with a cool mission: raising 10,000 hours of free DRK Healing mental health care services for women of color through the Mental Health America. If you don’t have insurance or you have lived without it, mental health care services are woefully underfunded, especially for BiPOC.
Is Martha Stewart a Giant Pothead? I Hope So!
(Pictured: Look at this iconic photo of Martha Sativa Stewart shot by Celeste Sloman for The New York Times).
In lighter news, Martha Stewart just released a line of hemp-derived CBD products. I had all of them sent over.
Admittedly, I was still kind of verklempt about RBG, so it was a pretty confusing thing to take in how monumentally wild this New York Times profile piece is on the Queen B. (Word has it that Snoop product tested on this—I do love their relationship).
That said, hemp-derived CBD does not get you high. If you are heavy hitter, it will definitely not even buzzed. However, if you have anxiety, it does “take the edge off" and the pate de fruit flavors are quite good. I am generally a fan of gourmet edibles, and while Martha’s are not the best ones I’ve had, they’re decent and useful if you need a daily supplement.
Personally, I think Lord Jones, Wyld, Serra, and Sunderstorm have better gummies with stronger efficacy. Or you could just make it at home.
The products are packaged with an accessible home and lifestyle branding fitting for Walmart and Macy’s, which is where I assume they will live someday next to all of the other CBD products on the market and her legendary brand.
“I pop 20 of them and just feel OK, but some of my friends do two and feel high, I don’t know why. It’s not high like a marijuana high. It’s a CBD high, like, relaxed.”
The thought of Martha sitting with her old ass friends popping CBD gummies in Hudson Valley does bring a smile to my face. In my perfect world, I’d love to see Martha and Ina engage in a domestic goddess stoner showdown between Hudson Valley and the Berkshires. Each of them could make their perfect fall spreads, trying to maintain composure without breaking character of these flawless TV homemakers who are staunch badass business women. Just completely blazed, like Martha and her cocktails and Snoop in the Green Room. What a meeting of the minds.
Martha is interesting because she is subtly and subversively breaking the mold. Where someday, it will be OK to have edibles as a family get together, just like a few beers.
Objectively, these are good quality edibles. However, it’s CBD isolate, not broad spectrum, which means there is no trace portions of active THC that provides the true experience. I’d say these are mostly decent tasting supplements, and hope that she’ll eventually push for THC edibles.
We know you smoke, Martha! At the very least you got automatic contact high from spending so much time with Snoop!
DIY Fall Project: Make An Apple Pipe
(Pictured: Smoking out of an apple next to my ceramic boobie bowl from Caitlin Rose Sweet).
Fall makes me think of apples, harvest, cinnamon space and everything nice, and apple pipes. I used to make these when I was a teenager and when I was in college as a resident advisor, secretly smoking through a toilet paper roll out the window.
There are actually much nicer ceramics you can have, including this tongue-in-cheek ceramic apple from Summerland ($85), this apple pipe from Daily High Club ($29.99), and these super cute apple pipes from Made By Merola ($60).
Still, I thought it would be funny as a throwback to when there was some earnestness in weed culture to make my very own heirloom apple from the local farmers market. Because it’s natural, sustainable and I was getting it anyway for Rosh Hashanah.
Also: tastes like apple!
Step 1: Make a bowl by carving out the top of your apple.
Step 2: Using a nail, metal straw, or pen cap, punch a hole in the middle of the apple to allow for air flow.
Step 3: Make a hole that goes directly through this hole for your carb hole (typically used in pipes to regulate airflow).
Step 4: Fill with your favorite cannabis strain, light and smoke, by holding one finger over the hole and inhaling on the other side.
Take a deep breath, look outside and think about how beautiful the world is that you want to live in and what you can do to make it a better place.