#7: Having Your Ass Stuck Between Two Chairs
Plus Dream sequences, legalization in Chicago/New York, rational mysticism
Dear coven,
There's a French expression "avoir le cul entre deux chaises." It means "to have your ass between two chairs." You need both chairs to sit, but you'll never be comfortable. I think about that living between extremes in New York, and maybe life. There's no real middle here. That's not why you're here.
My dream is sitting with a carafe of coffee, the Village Voice is still in print, and New York City isn't an empty, unaffordable wasteland because so many people left. A coffee, a print publication and a beautiful backdrop with a sense of peace. Honestly, all my favorite moments in New York were the very small things that don't really cost money.
When I first moved to New York, I walked all the way from 135th in Harlem to Two Boots in the East Village. I can't remember how long it took, but I loved walking at least six miles every day just listening to music and daydreaming while looking at Central Park or the stores. Literally building muscle memory!
I really miss the Cloisters (where I mistakenly thought this photo was taken) because it overlooks the Hudson River. Wave Hill, too. Both have amazing gardens. The greenspaces of New York make me swoon. That's why I included it in my book. I remember finding out about it from a Law & Order episode, which was basically my entire understanding in New York.
I used to run on the treadmill for an hour when Law & Order would be TBS, which seemed like a good way to get in a full workout without having to think much about it. I've probably watched every episode of L&O up until Stabler left. I was really happy for Olivia's career, it just didn't feel the same for me anymore without the sexual tension. I once had a friend take a photo of my legs sticking out from behind a tree in Central Park because that show makes it seem like there's just dead bodies around every corner that some jogger will find. There aren't (that's a good thing).
This isn't in New York, though. Or Paris. I was informed this was the Chateau Marmont. In Los Angeles. Which smelled awful the last time I was there and was filled with the most insufferable humans ever in a place that never gives me a sense of home even though I like the sunshine, ocean, tacos and drugs. I was never a "vibes" kind of girl and generally have spent the past decade ripping on the West Coast for being aggrochill and constantly chillsplaining me with namaste bullshit.
In Calistoga, I remember throwing up my middle finger after leaving a spa at a sign in the parking lot that said "Please slow your roll to a zen 15 mph." Fuck you, I am chill! So goddamn passive aggressive.
I love the West Coast, but a different version of it. It's been more challenging while being essentially bi-coastal/international the past several years. I want to love the West Coast so bad. Don't get me wrong, I love my West Coast weed witches. I love visiting and the sense of peace I feel being stoned by the water. The wine is so good it surpassed the French at the historic Judgment of Paris, completely transforming our whole country. In the Emerald Triangle, they are carving out their own terroir in cannabis to match the wine.
California cuisine is the hallmark of farm-to-table in the U.S. and when I saw the Jeremiah Tower documentary it just reminded me how Alice Waters was the real bad ass bitch who deserved her own legacy documentary at the Tribeca Film Festival.
The cannabis market is so good there. Humboldt County weed is amazing. It's too bad Murder Mountain scares me. It reminds you of the risks that are still taken, even in a legal market, to ensure access.
Update on New York vs. California legal weed and the national/international market
I requested some stats on this, by the way. I was curious about what New York legalization would look like as an impact in a nutshell with actual statistics from the business side.
According to Tom Adams, principal analyst of the financial research and consulting division of BDSA, as well as New York-specific data from the company’s latest research report titled “BDSA’s State of Legal Cannabis Report (SOLCM) 8th Edition,” this was what they had to say:
“New York is an interesting market, as they really are trying to bring illicit dealers in legally. California, on the other hand, did nothing to encourage illicit dealers to be a part of the legal market, and they’re still operating. California has clear learnings to pass along to New York. Now, it’s a question of how to actively bring the illicit dealers into the legal adult-use New York Market.
New York is the fourth biggest state behind California, Texas and Florida, and most large states have the same 20% + adult cannabis consumers. New York cannabis legislation carries weight and stands to have a substantial impact the national and international cannabis markets.”
New York Data from SOLCM 8:
“While New York’s efforts to legalize failed in 2019, the political will move away from prohibition has remained strong. Gov. Andrew Cuomo vowed to continue to advocate for legal cannabis, pushing to include funds for legalization in the budget for the fiscal year that began April 1, 2020. The COVID-19 crisis has hit that state particularly hard, enough so that Cuomo abandoned his effort to get it included in the April 1 budget resolution” (SOLCM 8, 31)
Thirteen adult-use markets are forecast (in consultation with the Marijuana Policy Project) to open before 2025. These range from population giants like New York and Florida on the East Coast to tiny Pacific territories Guam and the Northern Marianas Islands to the west” (SOLCM 8, 52)
Our significant contributors to growth in 2019 included Pennsylvania (almost $300 million), Arizona ($133 million) and New York ($103 million)” (SOLCM 8, 63)
New York—Adjusted estimates based on state data. Expected start of adult-use sales in 2022” (SOLCM 8, 109).”
Legalization, it seems, is inevitable. Adoption and what that means for culture is yet to be seen.
In my future, I see myself sitting in one chair, where hopefully the other is taken by someone special. Where I'll always be somewhat uncomfortable and open to being proven wrong and so will he. Where you can be a little uncomfortable and so will the other person, but at least you're in it together.