Easy, Tiger! Pot-Infused Shrimp Chips, Crunchy Chili Flakes, and Other Edibles To Eat Your Heart Out

Feb 07, 2022

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Hey everyone,

Welcome to February, where I’m high off having my muscles tenderly massaged like a prime-aged steak thanks to a restorative session with acupuncturist and massage therapist LouLou Piscatore—a highly recommended aperitif for Lunar New Year, Black History Month, Valentine’s Day, the transition from Aquarius season to Pisces, and a dead groundhog signaling six more weeks of darkness even as we emerge from Mercury Retrograde and I take my first genuine vacation in over three years. How you livin’?

First, congrats are in order to the two winners of the Dry Mouth January giveaway, Rob and Hillary. May these luxury vapes give you the courage to keep trying to be stoned, even when it is awkward and sends you to the hospital or nearly makes you lose a job before you start it. Their journeys are listed below.

Presently playing a game of puff-puff-pass with myself, some OG Blueberry that I shoved into my DaVinci IQ2 and a fine low dose herb roll from Drew Martin Co. that I picked up at the Luxury Meets Cannabis Conference while powering through the 1992 Sundance collection on Criterion (the year indie exploded), and baking a banana bread. Paid subscribers will get a copy of the recipe because I owe you guys some exclusive content and a reason to keep begging people to pay for subscriptions seeing that my name is not Joe Rogan and Spotify is not paying me a million dollars to piss off America. Speaking of.

I suppose I could stand with musicians and podcasters like Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Roxanne Gay, and whoever else is pulling their music/podcasts from Spotify, but I think maybe 25 people have listened to my podcast, so it’s probably smart to allow that quarter to really marinate. Give it a month when the coast is clear and I’ll post another playlist.

Have you listened to the podcast yet, by the way? Try streaming it on repeat so I can increase my value to 26 cents.

In the meantime, ICYMI you can listen to it on Anchor.FM….which is owned by Spotify…as well as Apple and Google…who both own everyone’s personal information and souls. Wow, you really can’t win when it comes to tech.

So, what have I been up to? Getting cultured, baby! All of these movies in the 1992 Sundance collection on Criterion (the year indie exploded) are worth watching stoned as you doom scroll through Poshmark, updating your clothes in a feeble attempt to time travel to The Land Before Time.

Within this collection, there are at least two Tilda Swinton movies and neither are Snowpiercer, so that’s one positive. Jim Jarmusch also makes a couple cameos, as well as a very youthful Winona Ryder, Fairuza Balk and Steve Buscemi. Plus, you can have bragging rights for how cultured you are, thanks to Criterion and the Pipe Dreams newsletter.

Pipe Dreams Pick: Light Sleeper, starring Willem Dafoe as a drug dealer to Manhattan’s elite clientele, who has an existential crisis after discovering that his supplier, played by Susan Sarandon, is planning on quitting the business.

Or, you could just skip the collection and watch The Wedding Singer for a week straight while falling asleep stoned on the couch. I did that once when I was unemployed and living in Chicago, just to watch the scene where he says, “Everybody spread the word, I live in my sister’s basement.” Only that scene.

Remember this time last year when New York was preparing to legalize, and the first wave of vaccines still hadn’t opened to the general public? Like many others, I was entrenched in existential despair and diving head-first into a complete breakdown. Look at how far we’ve come! It’s all uphill from here, baby! Like climbing a mountain, you’ll probably pull a muscle, but the view and hard work will be just so rewarding. Almost makes you feel a little at home and assimilated to constant existential dread about Climate Change and Pandemica 2022.

Drugs are the topic du jour in pop culture, where everyone is messy and psychologically damaged. Che Diaz and her vape are going to L.A. to join Euphoria High for a D.A.R.E. reeducation on the binary while Jules rolls her eyes and stabs herself in the leg with hormones, Rue snorts another line and I remember a more simple time when a packet of condoms flying out of a purse in midtown on television was risqué after growing up watching the Madonna S&M show.

Or, you could just be the type of person who has a low key relationship with substances. Or are medically dependent. Or whatever. Either way, I’m the kind of person who prefers substances as an enhancement to an already gifted life.

If you’re in New York and don’t have a medical license or a decent plug, presently you’ll just have to scout out your weed in Washington Square, take a road trip to Massachusetts, visiting one of the hemp shops or try one of these clubs I keep seeing in the newspaper that I am too cheap to spend money on and that’s why their photos are almost always 99% men. I’m not going to recommend Weed World Candies even though it holds a special place in my heart simply for existing. It would be nice if our dispensaries were in any shape close to what’s on the west coast, but who knows when that will happen. Especially when half the state opted out.

Things To Do This Month

Lonely heart should head to the Valentine’s Planned Parenthood fundraiser at New York City’s TV Eye in Ridgewood on February 14. 24 women from your favorite NYC bands each sing one of their favorite love songs with live accompaniment by Dylan Fernandez & The Heart Beats from 8PM - 11PM! Followed by dancing with DJs Jonathan Toubin and The Baby Shakes until 2AM! With MC's Alana Amram and Steve Myers! All door proceeds go to Planned Parenthood!

Want to network with other cannabusiness folks on meaningful civil and community relationships for upcoming cannabis licensees? Revelry and Weedmaps are hosting an event February 24 that will cover learnings from existing operators and community members on best practices to engage with the NYPD, FDNY, and community board members. This is crucial information for anyone interested in becoming a cannabis operator in New York. Get your tickets here.

Stoned or not, there are plenty of cool places to take a trip while you’re in town. The Cooper-Hewitt Smithsonian Design Museum has a whole exhibit on pandemic response design, along with selects from Jon Gray of Ghetto Gastro, and the largest exhibition of works by graphic design pioneer E. McKnight Kauffer. If you’re short on time and cash, tickets after 5 p.m. are pay what you wish.

Easy, Tiger!

The Lunar New Year—celebrated by roughly 2/3 of Asia—is presently in consideration from lawmakers to become a national holiday. Congrats to Thailand being among the first countries to decriminalize weed, even though it was a bit obfuscated with the rise in Coronavirus cases that keep putting a huge damper on life even in year 3 of this.

Driven by the moon, the Lunar New Year falls on a different day on the Gregorian calendar every year (which most every country operates on except Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Iran, Nepal and Saudi Arabia), and incorporates the Chinese Zodiac and folklore culture. TIME REALLY IS A CONSTRUCT, ISN’T IT?!

The Year of the Tiger offers a shred of optimism and resiliency, driving out the evils of the years before, from the Coronavirus to an uptick in hate crimes against AAPI communities.

In Chinese mythology, Lee said, the tiger is called upon by the Jade Emperor, the ruler of heaven, to exorcise demons. The purging of evil can be applied societally, for example, symbolizing the relatively positive shift from pandemic to endemic, Lee said.

Given its status as a guardian, the tiger embodies archetypal characteristics of not only courage but also bravery, Lee explained. So the new year could also symbolize resilience and strength, even in times of struggle.

Black-Owned Cannabusinesses to Support for Black History Month

Royal Highness: If you’re in Palm Desert, pop into this dispensary owned by a joint partnership of Keyva King, Kiyah King and Megan Stone that also ships CBD products nationwide.
Viola: Al Harrington’s cannabis brand with a social justice purpose, providing immediate resources for people in need of support, shaping local cannabis industry policy, social justice reform, expungement, and successful reentry into society.
Ardent: Want to dip into the world of homemade edibles? This infusion device was dreamed up by founder Shanel Lindsay, who provides a delicious and healthy recipe in my interview with her over at Merry Jane.
B Noble: This joint collaboration with Curaleaf, Fab Five Freddy and social activist Bernard Noble was founded to create a legal fund to defend people from unjust, non-violent, cannabis jurisdiction.
Jane Parade: It’s time to enhance your coffee table with gorgeous grinders, papers, lighter and other accessories from this Brooklyn-based lifestyle and apparel brand founded by Janelle Benjamin-Grant.
Simply Pure: Denver doesn’t get nearly enough attention in the national conversation about cannabis, but founder Wanda James started its first Black-owned and female-owned cannabis dispensary in the country in 2014.

Here are 100 more to check out near you.

8 Edibles to Eat Your Heart Out

Remember those shitty box brownies you made in college that got you so high that you decided to take a power nap in the middle of your friend’s apartment during a house party? Good thing you have evolved into a grown ass adult with standards about the kinds of foods you put in your body and understand your limits with dosing in this privileged world you live in where the cannabis industry just caters to you now.

When I first started writing about weed, I remember I had just started dating this remarkably handsome guy who I tried to explain the nuances of everything I was soaking up about weed. The strains! The terroir! The science! The smells! It was sexy and I wanted to have a lot of weed sex, experimenting with this new crop of vapes, dabs, edibles, weed lubes, and smokeables of all sizes. Was I falling for him, or just chronically stoned with psychosis and in love with everything?!

Since then, my heart has dried out to a loofah, so I give you this Valentine’s Day Guide with a little half-hearted cheerleading. Valentine’s Day doesn’t offend me so much because I’m not above buying chocolates and lavish presents for myself on any given day, especially when tempted by pot-infused shrimp chips. But, I do have some choice recommendations for the month. Here are 8 of them!

Pot d’Huile x Sessy CBD Sesame Oil x Loud Grandma Crisp Chili Oil, $29-36
pdhcbd.com
Crisp chili oil is having a moment right now as the condiment of every foodie’s obsession. Laced with CBD, you can’t go wrong, especially when it’s from Pot d’Huile. For the Year of the Tiger, stock up on these two killer collaborations: Loud Grandma crisp chili oil is the brainchild of NYC-based Taiwanese-American Chef Calvin Eng, formerly of Win Son, while Korean-American Chef Esther Choi of MokBar/SessyOil infuses premium cold-pressed sesame oil is infused with 2:1 full-spectrum CBD from a USDA-certified organic hemp farm, or about 250mg CBD per bottle. Use for finishing dishes like noodles, salads, your morning omelet, or pretty much anything.
Potli OG Shrimp Chips
getpotli.com
Infused shrimp chips!? Get the fuck outta here! I can’t even believe this is real, but the good folks at Potli have officially thrown down the gauntlet. Thanks to the ladies over at High Herstory for tipping me off to this incredible contribution to the world of edibles. Between their latest line-up of shrimp chips and sriracha, and classics like infused honey, chili oil and honey, Potli products are always worth stocking up whenever you’re near a California dispensary.
Cloud 11, Salted Peanut, $90 -170
findcloud11.com
It’s the future we always wanted: high-end truffles artfully crafted into one singularly perfect bite. The kind of edible that doesn’t require more than one or two bites to be completely satisfied. The kind of edible that doesn’t just taste good, but blows your mind with flavors like strawberry pink peppercorn and black yuzu. The caveat? You can only find ‘em in L.A. Time for vacation?
Herve Macarons, $21 per 3-pack
hervedibles.com
If you’re going to shell out for fancy 23K gold dusted macarons, why not elevate the experience with flavors like birthday cake, salted caramel, chocolate ganache and raspberry buttercream studded with confetti sprinkles and infused with 10mg THC?
Molly J CBD Gumdrops, $45-65
mollyj.life
Not everyone wants to get high and many are still tripped out by weed, making CBD edibles the perfect amuse bouche into your new stoner lifestyle. These delicious pate de fruit pack a punch of 25mg to 50mg CBD in each gum drop, with curated sampler boxes featuring flavors like lemon lavender and plum cardamom.
Mello Sea Salted CBD Caramels, $50
mellodaily.com
Honestly, it was real toss up between the Jacobson sea salted caramels from Serra and these 15mg CBD caramels—both being the most expensive caramels I’ve ever bought and also the most delicious. It was genuinely hard to choose. But unless you’re on the West Coast, you won’t be able to get your hands on the Jacobson THC ones, so Mello wins! You do get 20 caramels, so they certainly give you your money’s worth, with 15mg of active CBD in each piece. Be careful: these are addictive.
Artet, $32-44
artet.com
Who could have envisioned a future where we’d see weed transform like Cinderella into a beautiful aperitif and cocktail-in-a-can? Well, the future is now, and it is so good. Each shot glass measures 2.5mg THC and each can is 5mg with 1:1, so you can microdose without fear of having a complete paranoid breakdown. More importantly: it actually tastes good with incredible viscosity—even better than some of the cocktails you might be used to.
Marz CBD Juniper Fizz Elixer, $14 per 4-pack
marzbrewing.com
Ditch your G&T for this amazing NA alternative from Chicago’s Marz Brewing. Made with Juniper Berries, Spruce Tips, Blood Orange Peel, Grapefruit Peel, Madagascar Vanilla Bean, and 30mg Full Spectrum CBD, with no sugar added, this under-the-radar beverage is among the champions of infused beverages. Getting your paws on this requires a trip to the Windy City, but given that Illinois is slowly amping up its smoking lounges, tours and local attractions, Chicago is prime to be the next cannatourism hot spot.

Dry Mouth January Winners!

You’re a winner, baby! Thanks to everyone who submitted for a chance to win a premium vape from VESSEL Which is basically these two individuals who were brave enough to come forward and share their traumatizing and awkward weed experiences. Stay tuned for future contests, where I will make you spill your soul in exchange for more weed products.

In my years partaking of the greenery, I have not once, but twice gotten myself so fucked up that I called an ambulance for myself. The second encounter (after consuming a 100mg chocolate) was particularly awkward because after explaining to the paramedics how much of an idiot I was, I asked them if they could wait while I used the bathroom to make sure I emerged alive. They’d determined I was likely suffering some mild indigestion and I was just too far gone to realize it wasn’t an impending heart attack. But the best part is that one of them came into my house with me, and stood outside the bathroom door for 5-10 minutes while I suffered on the toilet, periodically asking shit like, “how’s it going in there,” and other super fun things that I still had the wherewithal to realize were forming what was arguably the most embarrassing moment of my life. Thus far, anyway. Let’s not rule a third ambulance call out! — Rob

It was in the before times, and I was riding high having just signed a new job contract. Like, just that morning maybe. So we were taking in some Tiffany glass [at the Metropolitan Museum of Art] and starting to feel the kin slips, when my new boss called to congratulate me! I had to do my best to be professional and wrap it up quickly before I said anything too silly and they decided they’d made a mistake hiring me. -Hilary

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