In Praise of Gen-X Women (and Other Gen-X People)
A Hot Flash, Ice Cold Roast Celebrating Women and People of a Certain Age
Hey everyone,
Writing you from the couch, horizontal as usual, avoiding finishing my taxes while streaming Ally McBeal and asking ChatGPT whether the dancing baby could be considered Dadaist. (Verdict: not technically, but might as well be). I don’t think nearly enough people understand how special it is to have seen that show live when it actually aired on television and people thought it was “edgy”—Millennials, we remember it all! (Even if it aged like milk.)
Watching it again at 40, I realize: I’ve always been more spiritually aligned with Gen X women than my own generation. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a multigenerational, all-female household. Maybe it’s because I’m part of the last pre-internet generation that remembers an analog world. Or maybe Gen X women just knew something the rest of us weren’t ready to hear (the second puberty known as “perimenopause”).
I’ve been thinking about them even more after attending the book launch for Amy Shearn’s new novel Animal Instinct at P&T Knitwear, moderated by the brilliant Gen X voice Ada Calhoun (plus, how cool that she brought shortbread cookies branded with her book cover?!). Shearn’s novel follows a recently divorced Brooklynite mother of three using an AI chatbot to dip her toes into online dating (during the pandemic, no less!). Lo and behold, here I am—an “elder Millennial” trying to multitask my leisure across the past, present, and future of media: streaming sexually charged ’90s television, reflecting on a Gen X novel about AI, and literally using AI to discuss both. #zeitgeist!
Brooklyn in spring 2020 lockdown is a very specific IYKYK trauma, so I’m thrilled to see this era finally surfacing in fiction—especially through a Gen X lens. Fittingly, Shearn finished most of the book before ChatGPT, just skirting the inevitable AI discourse. A classic Gen X move—just enough to be ahead of the curve without ever getting your hands dirty.
But what I admire most is the perspective and curiosity of a generation that lived so much of life before the internet dictated everything, a time when possibilities still felt expansive. No one ever uses the word "neurotic" anymore, and honesty is the new irony—but maybe that’s why I always felt culturally closer to Gen X: they suffer from keepin’ it a lil’ too real.
And that’s why I’m watching Ally McBeal. Does the face of a forever-27, Gen X attorney (played by a 32-year-old) still hold up now that I’m 40—clueless about the future, disengaged from the present, and fully immersed in watching a program about inappropriate consensual work dynamics, creepy digital dancing babies as biological clock metaphors, and convoluted, cringey female dynamics vying for the attention of mediocre men while wearing too-short skirts? Am I still young and fun, or is this just another absurdist reaction to the horrors of war? (Am I trending?). The answers to all three questions are: no.
I’ve noticed a creeping fear among some Gen X women I admire—that their contributions are being quietly downplayed or forgotten. To be fair, some of that fear is justified. But Gen X still shaped me more than they probably realize. It’s not to say that all older people are wise or self-actualized, but I hate how quickly our increasingly ageist society dismisses the importance of lived wisdom and perspective for anyone over 30. And now, as I find myself reading more books by women on the Gen X/Millennial cusp, I realize they’ve been shaping me all along.
So, to Gen X women: Thank you. You deserve more credit. I thought it was cool to be an angsty, unapologetic, messy-hot-sexy-crazy-cool-ambitious bitch because of you. I didn’t run for office but was really mad about how the world turned out anyway because of you. I know about perimenopause because of you. I wasn’t afraid of failing a biological clock or dying alone because of you (but also knew love can happen at any age! Or not! Whatever! Choose your own adventure!). I am watching Ally McBeal in 2025 because of you—even though I know you hated that show (honestly, rewatching it now? Fair.)—and why no one can ever tell if I’m being serious (also, because of you). And now I’m going to celebrate you—and you’re going to love-hate it. Just like that song Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, a Millennial you can’t help but love-hate.
Boomers love to remind everyone that they were hippies and Civil Rights activists. Millennials overshare everything in a way that ensures we will never run for office. But Gen X? Too cool to participate. For years, Gen X avoided politics like the plague—so much so that we barely had any politicians until recently. Now they’re finally stepping up, but let’s be real: it took a while. So much so that there’s now a weird gap between the geriatric holdouts and the inexperienced up-and-comers. Why? Because Gen X was above it and because Boomers kept their thumbs on them for too long. (“But we were a smaller generation!” Uh huh. Sure.)
That said, Gen X shaped me in ways that were both ahead of their time and perfectly on time—especially the women—and that’s why this letter is dedicated to them (and the people who like to love them and be like them). Over the last year, I’ve realized that almost all of the books I’ve been drawn to are written by Gen X women or just-on-the-edge Gen X/Millennials. Not just new books—older ones, too. Because printed matter should last a lifetime, if not for eternity.
In recent years, I’ve observed a certain sadness and anger from Gen X women about AI, finally catching up with the commodification and erasure of content that has always plagued Millennials. Gen X women saw AI coming and already hated it before it could even disappoint them. Millennials, meanwhile, spent years feeding the algorithm before realizing we were just working ourselves out of jobs.
Millennials are just struggling with their midlife crises a little differently. The existential dread and acceptance crept in a little faster, but no one owns property or has health insurance. Millennials are still treated like kids—even as we inch toward 50. Not our fault we got the worst generational branding in history. We’re now you, but empowered with the lessons you continue to leave us, so thank you. They have not gone unnoticed.
I haven’t dug into Shearn’s novel yet, but Jeanette Winterson is a Boomer writer with Gen X leanings who frequently approaches offbeat AI and queer topics in her writing that still resonates with me as a print reader from another generation. Gender may be dead but patriarchy still rules. And Gen X women might be among the last of the badasses unafraid to lean into girl power and fearlessly confront trauma, even though we’ve cut off the wings that were supposed to smash us through a glass ceiling instead of crashing directly into it. Your move, Gen Z!
Gen X women: you’re more relevant than ever, even if no one says it enough. You embraced the imperfections of the human experience and wore them like a badge of honor because it meant you were undeniably real, and maybe that’s why you struggle with accepting the superficialities of digital culture (you’re not a poser!).
My advice? Embrace what’s in front of you instead of resisting it. Make friends with it instead of antagonizing it. And stop worrying about erasure—so many of you have cemented your legacies into print, and they’re permanently on my shelf. (Unless you burn me, then I’m throwing it in the trash and won’t even recycle it out of spite). Thanks for everything <3
Anyway, in the spirit of Gen X women, I’ve been consciously removing myself from social media because it’s making me too cynical—even as a benchmark for nihilistic Gen X women—and making a more conscious effort to catch up with the analog world and my favorite Gen X writers.
Subscribe and bookmark some of my favorite Gen X cultural relics of late below. Or don’t. I’m not your mom. I don’t tell Gen X what to do. But I do own a DVD player because I never trusted streaming to begin with and that should count for something. And if you do want to see how much you still matter, just look at my bookshelf.
Gen X-y Substacks:
The Midst – A mid-life publication that says #fckmiddleage from my former mentor, Amy Schroeder, founder of Venus Zine.
Oldster Magazine — The many facets of aging from people who make getting older look cool from Sari Botton.
TueNight — Was just tipped off about this Gen X social from founder Margit Detweiler, who I had the pleasure of meeting at Shearn’s reading the other night.
Ask Polly — Heather Havrilesky is Gen X and that’s why her advice is so real.
Bitches Gotta Eat — Is there anything more Gen X than writing about anything other than being Gen X? You don’t need to twist my arm to read Sam Irby’s blog!
Craft Talk — The greatest gift from a Gen X writer: the discipline to manifest words into ready-to-sell works.
Cheryl Strayed’s Dear Sugar — Cheryl Strayed writes like your toughest, wisest, slightly unhinged older sister—equal parts grit, heartbreak, and radical tenderness.
Essential Gen X Cultural Canon, According to an Elder Millennial
Ada Calhoun, Why We Can’t Sleep – The midlife crisis book you probably aren’t ready to read, but should anyway.
Melissa Febos, Girlhood – This book is like if Gen X wrote self-help, but self-help was actually good.
Taffy Brodesser-Akner, pretty much anything she’s ever written — Because nobody writes a spiraling, self-aware midlife woman quite like her. And that’s a compliment.
Jennifer Egan, A Visit From The Goon Squad — Who doesn’t love a multi-layered, interwoven narrative about self-destructive misfits doing the best they can?
The Craft – “We are the weirdos, Mister.” Witches, Catholic school rebellion, ‘90s fashion. Say no more.
Before Sunrise – Proof that Gen X was so good at romanticizing their own alienation and why I wasted so many years chasing fleeting moments of philosophical serendipity instead of the guy with a 401K plan.
My So-Called Life – When you were raised on the raw, unfiltered angst of being 15 before TikTok ruined brooding or want to know what that must have been like. Also: Jordan Catalano.
Daria – If Gen X had a face, it would be an eye-roll.
MORE FROM PIPE DREAMS BY THE WEED WITCH
I Used ChatGPT For Therapy (And It Was Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Good)
Pinking in the Existential Crisis Industry: Who Really Has a Say and What Does It All Mean?
Thank you for seeing us. I see you too and admire & respect how you have expanded upon our work. The cycle continues. Spiraling forward. #GenX #1973