Consumption Lounge: April Flowers, Lavender Honey Caramels & James Beard Rolling In His Grave
Plus more consumables for April
Welcome to the Consumption Lounge: a regular feature where I showcase all my favorite consumables from the food, beverage, cannabis, lifestyle, literary worlds, and beyond. Occasionally, affiliate links are included, but all recommendations are of my own.
Hi everyone,
Can you believe it’s April already? Spring is about get sprunged in New York City, as the tiniest buds are just starting to pop up along the tree-lined streets of the West Village. It’s so unbelievably charming, I love it. Feels just like a movie set—but one filled with too many extras all filming themselves playing Carrie Bradshaw on Perry Street with a slowdown of pedestrian gridlock on Bleecker because that’s just the West Village on any given weekend. Oh, by the way, rent is due and Mercury Retrograde is here again. Womp, womp.
Speaking of traffic: a resolution was passed recently by New York City to start congestion pricing with a $15 toll for driving through Lower Manhattan 90% of the time. If you’re wondering what this has to do with anything, it actually has everything to do with everything because public transit is the arteries of New York City and they’re about to get clogged AF.
As someone who prefers being mentally checked out on a train for hour rather than grating my teeth behind the wheel, I have mixed feelings. Mostly because there are a lot of people in New York City, which means there will always be traffic—be it planes, trains, automobiles, bike lanes, or pedestrians—as well as an opportunity to profit from our collective misfortune without any of it ever seeming to go back into anything that actually improves the city or people living within it. I’ve seen post-Soviet Bloc countries with more modern train stations than some of the MTA stops we’re working with. Bad public transit just means Russia wins! Come on, America, we can do it!
Since this is an election year, here’s what I’d do as incorruptible Carly for Mayor/Governor/President: public transit and mental health care services would be two good places to start, particularly now that there is an increased possibility of getting stalked, punched in the face, and/or shoved onto the tracks. Why is everyone so fucking unhinged? I’ve started carrying mace again and am leaning into meditation and extreme disassociation as a means to cope with the daily psychic assault of obstacles and death hazards I need to consider weaving around in order to exist on this planet.
Good news: the tech industry has developed yet another useless and expensive innovation that will not solve any of these problems, just like this one and this one—oh, and self-driving cars now because that’s worked out so well for San Francisco—rather than just fix the obvious problems, like improving the subway infrastructure and increasing mental healthcare services and housing, and generally destroying patriarchy. I pay 3x the amount of taxes to live in Manhattan so it seems like it’s not really a matter of the lack of money but the improper spending of it, but I also recognize that is a tall order in a city filled with a disproportionate amount of assholes.
Point being: while this new congestion tax should theoretically free up the streets to increase pedestrian traffic and MTA usage while boosting revenue, I am less than optimistic that it will improve any of the stations or populations that are actually in dire need of upgrades because politicians be politician-ing. Putting my psychic crown on for a minute, I would predict that in the next 10 years, New York is going to get Disney-fied and Mall-of-America-fied again by corporate America and commercial real estate investors to levels that Giuliani could have never imagined. It’s going to be so hateful, but also would be nice if they’d start with fixing these shitty train stations and increasing mental health care services—both pretty achievable spaces to invest all of this money being taxed on LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING, including all the weed New York sold last year while creating a bureaucratic nightmare for farmers and operators alike. Just my two cents.
Anyway, this is why I like treating myself, because I believe New York has the power to be fabulous again, even in the face of corporate oppression and I want to be the change that I want to see in the world by living my best life—even if that’s still considered “low income” when your neighbors make $40 to 100 million. Why should you deprive yourself of honeybee lavender caramels in this economy?
Here are my consumable pics for the month:
HORS D’OEUVRES
The James Beard Awards—better known as the “Oscars of the Food World”—are coming out next week and there’s a lot of chatter among chefs about what should constitute “Best New Chef” this year within an industry where tenure matters amid the “uphill battle for straight white men” to gain recognition and notoriety for their celebrated talents and achievements in culinary excellence and hospitality in the Worst Era of Modern Hospitality.
I actually have no horse in that race, but did notice that many are still trying to canonize Beard as this venerable and esteemed patriarchal figure of white tablecloth dining. Anything that challenges this is seen as him rolling over in his grave at the thought of “what this has become.” Here’s the thing: Beard was a noted freak! The PDR at the Beard House is his former bedroom that has a mirror over the ceiling: "Beard loved to entertain but rumor has it when people saw his feet against the window, they knew not to come in." Freak-a-leek! You’re dining where he used to watch himself jerk off, you foodie freaks!
When people complain about politics entering the Beard House and clutching their pearls about wokeness or whatever, I can’t help but laugh because the institution itself is its own bastardization of who James Beard was: a complicated queer man with a voracious appetite, something that John Birdsall wrote about in his book “The Man Who Ate Too Much,” which you might have missed, like many great books that came out in 2020 (ahem). Similarly, there’s a whole chapter in restaurant legend Ella Brennan’s biography, “Miss Ella of Commander’s Palace,” about them getting drunk together constantly and him coming out of the shower in a little towel that barely fit around his giant body as she said something along the lines, “Oh put that away, nobody wants to see that” (they’re in New Orleans in the ‘70s, though, so this is totally normal).
Point being: I do think I could see Beard supremely disappointed at the fall from grace in hospitality—mainly because he had a heart and so did the industry. That was the relationship of Brennan and Beard as life-long friends who came up in an industry together: tough, but a certain level of love and respect of craft and hospitality, where people really took care of each other. Anyway, chew on that while you think about what constitutes “Best New Chef” that will be covered by exactly three people still remaining in food media right now.
Bee Grateful Farm Lavender Honey Caramels - I found this in the “overpriced snacks for people who spend too much time looking at labels” section of the grocery store and immediately wanted to buy the entire collection because every package sounded incredible, but stopped myself because I’m not a millionaire, settling on lavender because it felt so spring and floral. These honey caramels come from a small family-owned farm in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, using sustainable, regenerative agriculture and organic pollen cultivation and solar power to make their caramels wrapped up in eco-friendly packaging and THEY ARE SO GOOD. They’re not up for a Beard this year, but they did win a Carly.
UNREAL Dark Chocolate Coconut Bars - UNREAL confections are essentially Halloween-sized Mounds bars made with healthier, natural ingredients and way less sugar. They’re absolutely delicious, use sustainably harvested ingredients, and I appreciate that they’re individually wrapped because I keep them in my freezer and they make good snacks. They sell them everywhere, but also not, so if you haven’t tried them I highly recommend.
Trader Joe’s Chocolate Almond s Coated with Dark Chocolate, Cocoa & Sea Salt - These are the poor man’s version of the HU Hunks Chocolate Almonds that are so good but cost an arm and a leg.
Trader Joe’s Gluten-Free Norwegian Crispbread - Another not-so-new snack that has become a pantry essential, packed with fiber and protein and perfect for a healthy stoner snack. They’re great topped with a semi-firm farmhouse cheese with excellent crunchy texture for when you’re munchin’.
Yasmin Fahr’s Cooking From A Fahr - I first fell in love with Yasmin’s cooking way back in the day when she made this incredible recipe for warm winter root vegetable salad with ricotta and herbs for Serious Eats’s One-Pot Wonder series. Since then, she’s gone on to be a regular contributor at the New York Times and now lives a very charmed life in Menorca after peacing out from NYC a couple years ago. Her third cookbook is on the way called “Cook Simply, Live Fully” that’s hitting the shelves April 16.
Emma Hearst’s “Flavors from the Farm: Vegetable-Forward Food to Share” - Chef, author, and Forts Ferry Farm co-founder Emma Hearst is bringing her Hudson Valley vegetable-centric sensibility to the masses with the release of her new cookbook coming out April 30. Her 100-acre produce and flower farm in Latham, New York, has evolved into a chic urban farm shop in Hudson—appropriately dubbed Farm Shoppe—which is a great pick if you’re looking for spring menu inspiration.
BEVVIES
Just ordered a party pack from DecantSF, which ships nationwide, and features a great selection of picks I haven’t seen around these parts, including: spritz-worthy aperitifs Meyor Lemon and Makrut Lime vermouths from California-based Mommenpop Aperitifs and zero-proof Cape Citrus aperitif from South African producer Abstinence Spirits; a bright Chenin for spring from Loire-based sustainable winery Mary Taylor; and the last bottle of this Columbia Valley “Cot”/Malbec from Savage Grace (sorry).
2017 “La Capella” from Can Bas - While in Barcelona last month, I took a quick half-day trip to Penedes to visit sister wineries Pere Ventura and Can Bas, picking up three bottles for the journey back. Given that it’s still on the chillier side, I decided to dip into this gorgeous Syrah-Cab—an elegant blend full of deep cherry and warming spices, but just medium-bodied enough to carry from the cold season into spring. Muy delicioso!
Le Tigre from Château des Adouzes - Full disclosure: I’ve been representing Domaine Montrose as part of their outreach for their latest vintage release—but I also picked up a bottle of this at Central Cellars in Grand Central because I actually like them and Languedoc wines and that’s why I’m working for them! This is a super crushable red medium-bodied blend of carignan, grenache noir, and syrah, full of minerality and red fruit that works well before we go straight into Rose All Day Season—and at a pretty decent price point, too!
Maryam & Company x Massican - Just got word that Weed Witch pal Maryam Ahmed of Maryam & Company (who put together the fantastic Washington State Wine Program with Kia) is getting ready to release another batch collaboration with Napa’s Massican. Our crew was lucky enough to get a taste of her personal reserve because these bottles sold out very quickly for good reason: they’re AMAZZZZZINNNGGGG. So good. I still think about her wine, like all of the time, and really hope I get my hands on this next release. Also: if you work in the industry, make sure to sign up for her newsletter as she’s working on a number of initiatives with opportunities to help diversify the wine industry with underrepresented communities.
YES, YOU CANNABIS!
I’m actually putting together a whole separate guide for this because the greenest blow out of the year is only a couple weeks away, demanding its own guide. Stay tuned!
READ & WEEP
Thank you to Kimberly Harrington of Honey Stay Super for this great post that made me aware you can get Nicole Kidman’s famous post-divorce celebration photo on a coffee mug, which I will now be drinking from every day.
ICYMI: Mary Jane Gibson of “My Sandwich, My Choice” joined the Pipe Dreams pod.
Christina Wong of Fruit & Flower Unfurled takes a baked day trip to O.C. (California here we cooooooommmmmeeeeeeeeeee)
Violet Clair of Friend Group Reject articulates the shared struggle of being a feminist with a more toxic taste in friendships than romantic partners in “The Toxic Allure of the Friend Group Queen Bee.”
Reminder: Ukraine is still at war with Russia two years later and Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich is still in a gulag.
Right wing assholes are outraged that President Biden acknowledged trans people exist.
How To Get Unstuck proposes writing a book during your lunch break (not a bad idea, actually).
MORE FROM THE CONSUMPTION LOUNGE
Consumption Lounge: Dry Mouth January Edition
Consumption Lounge: Best Things to Consume in March
Consumption Lounge: Everything To Smoke + Toke this 420
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